Nomological Net

Stray thoughts from here and there. The occasional concern for construct validity. No more logic. Fish.


faults in the clouds of delusion

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Hyderabad Clues


What did the Muslim thief in Hyderabad say at his trial?
Not Gulti, my Lord


What did the Hyderabadi couple say when the condom broke and they had a baby girl?
Gulti ho gayi

More welcome.


Blogger Revealed said...

Hehehehe. This is what you came up with after a week in your cave?

2/25/2007 1:51 PM  
Blogger km said...

Ah, so a Muslim in Hyd is not a "gulti? :)

(BTW, a cousin of mine once explained the etymology of "gulti". Apparently, it is "Te-lu-gu" read backwards, kind of.)

2/26/2007 1:05 AM  
Anonymous bandafbab said...

What made the Hyderabadi come back from his silicon valley job?

His Gulti conscience.

2/26/2007 1:33 AM  
Blogger Tabula Rasa said...

:-D well, not quite. the first one is a hoary old classic, and the second one struck me while crossing a street on my return to hong kong day before. don't ask why.

hmm, you're the expert, you tell me.

well, naturally, right?

why did the microsoft employee not join the union?
- because he didn't want to be gulti by association.

2/26/2007 8:26 PM  
Blogger km said...

TR: Please don't be cracking jokes about Microsoft. I switched to VisfrickinTa and all hell's broken loose.

2/27/2007 12:05 PM  
Blogger Rahul said...

km - I switched to VisfrickinTa and all hell's broken loose.

You mean it worked before?

Seriously. When windows works, it's ok I suppose, but when it doesn't even the experts have no better idea than "reboot"/"reinstall". If it's not intrinsically broken, it's been invaded by spyware.

I don't suggest everyone use linux as I do (though it's quite popular in my field) -- but nearly everyone I know in academia uses Mac OS X. At a meeting some time back, I had the only non-Apple laptop in the room, and someone said "ah, a Windows user at last" -- of course, I quickly disillusioned him.

2/27/2007 5:25 PM  
Blogger Rahul said...

What does a patriotic Hyderabadi sing? "Yeh gultistan hamara, sare jahan se achcha..."

btw -- second km's question, why can't a muslim be a gulti?

2/27/2007 5:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry -- this is a rant.

this has nothing to do with gultis or hyderabadis but will someone please explain to me why mumbaikars seem to have suddenly adopted the grammatically pathetic americanism of saying "i'm good"?!

not just any old mumbaikars but buddies whom one went to school or college with, supposedly imbibing a good education?

you live x years in amreeka, all the while resisting the "i'm good" phenomenon and then you call up old pal who has lived in mumbai all those x years and he says to you that he is good.

"am i the only one who cares about the f@#$ing rules?"

2/27/2007 11:14 PM  
Blogger Revealed said...

I used Windows for the longest time (just to pain my ex-supervisor who was a Mac champion), but I have to admit that having begun the Apple journey I'd find it hard to return to gud ol' MS.

2/27/2007 11:17 PM  
Blogger Rahul said...

anonymous - well, I always understood they were praising their own superior morals.

2/28/2007 12:07 AM  
Blogger Tabula Rasa said...

ouch. i feel for you. i personally stick with my (t)rusty old windows model t.

hahaha! you got called a windows user in public! hahahahaha the ignominy :-D

about the hyd muslim - gulti deal -- i was under the impression, in line with what km said, that gultis are telugu speakers, while hyd muslims would tend to be urdu speakers. i may be wrong, in which case i shall recalibrate.

anonymous, rahul:
yes. it's all good.

ah yes, but wait until you get sucked into the latex cult. the Power That Be's tried the other day to convince me that latex makes better presentations than powerpoint. frankly, muh dear, said i, i don't give a point and click.

2/28/2007 12:31 AM  
Blogger MockTurtle said...

Hahaha - how about this; the three P's that are close to a Bengali's heart? Phish, Phutbol and Phucking.
(Sorry, couldn't come up with any Gulti jokes).
But to balance it out; the three J's a Malayali sells from his kaka shop? Jiglets, Joglet and Jewing gum.

2/28/2007 1:20 AM  
Blogger Rahul said...

tr - anything makes better-looking presentations than powerpoint. Especially if you have any sort of math in it. (Though it is possible to go overboard with effects in Apple's Keynote.)

If you're already a latex user I highly recommend beamer, otherwise it's not worth the trouble. But either beamer or keynote produces professional-looking output -- Apple's forte has been DTP since the 80s, and Knuth has finetuned TeX since the 70s, MS still can't get it right.

2/28/2007 1:25 AM  
Blogger Revealed said...

As far as I'm concerned, Latex is a type of glove, and I much prefer the Nitrile, Powder-free variety (they come in 2 colours: sky blue and purple), thank you very much :P.

(But I take heed of your warning, I do!)

2/28/2007 2:24 AM  
Blogger MockTurtle said...

By the way. What happened to WS's blog? The cosmic elevator seems to lead to a site that hawks Viagra now.

2/28/2007 2:39 AM  
Blogger km said...

Little birdie tells me Senor Wildflower is on a "blogatical".

2/28/2007 11:31 AM  
Blogger the flying monkeys said...

Greetings my friend. Not gulti!

2/28/2007 6:03 PM  
Blogger Tabula Rasa said...

given that standard, all i can do is urge you to try your hand at some gulti jokes anyway.

powerpoint can't handle math, but that apart, it's an excellent flexible, powerful, user-friendly presentation tool.

mt, km:
yes, the cosmic elevator's gone walkabouts for a bit. i'm hoping the wildflower seed will find the four winds blowing it safely home ere too long.

i think we're in agreement :-)

ah, welcome back! seeing you here makes me feel quite gu(i)lty myself, since there's so much interesting stuff that you've put up lately and i just haven't had the time to treat myself to it.

2/28/2007 9:12 PM  
Anonymous s said...

the only people who think powerpoint is user-friendly are those who haven't experienced anything better yet. WYSIWYG is great but LaTeX gives you WYSIWYG and *also* the ability to change the code behind it. it's like people thought telephones were great, until someone invented the internet.

also, by the way, it's pronounced Lay-Tek, or Laah-Tek, so you can perish the thought of gloves or other accessories :-)

2/28/2007 9:59 PM  
Blogger MockTurtle said...

Damn, I knew my juvenile sense of humor would come back to bite me in the ass someday.
Ok, ok, let me try again. Telugu bridegroom to his new wife on their first night; "Reddy or not, here I come!"

2/28/2007 11:10 PM  
Blogger Rahul said...

tr - it's an excellent flexible, powerful, user-friendly presentation tool.

We were talking of "better-looking presentations". Show me one powerpoint presentation that's not cringemakingly ugly.

Forget fine points like ligatures and kerning. Forget equations. Powerpoint can't do bullet points properly -- the text doesn't line up. Aren't bullet points the most basic requirement of a presentation program?

Am I the only one who gives a f*** about the rules?

2/28/2007 11:49 PM  
Blogger Tabula Rasa said...

i don't see you giving up on telephones any time soon.

it's not fair to lead with one as good as that and then just stop, you know.

well, i said better, you said better-looking. but either way, you're welcome to sit in one of my classes any time.

3/01/2007 8:54 AM  
Blogger Rahul said...

Well, OK. I read that (subconsciously, maybe) as "better for the audience", which means better-looking. I don't mean prettier -- I mean abiding by basic principles of typesetting and layout, aimed at readability, that have been refined over centuries but are now being thrown out the window.

I disagree with s. that latex is user-friendly -- it's not, but it's professional. If you care about producing professional-looking output, latex makes your life a lot easier -- you don't have to worry about knowing the principles of layout and typesetting, latex does that for you. (Whereas with ppt or word, even if you are an expert on typography, you still have to fight with the software to get it right.) And with math, of course, there's absolutely no other choice. Even powerpoint users seem to create their math in latex and paste the image into powerpoint.

3/01/2007 5:40 PM  
Blogger Tabula Rasa said...

come on -- that rant only says that users of powerpoint don't know how to make presentations. it says nothing about the software itself.

3/01/2007 10:34 PM  
Blogger Rahul said...

I'm saying, with latex you don't need a deep knowledge of typography to do things correctly. You work at a higher level (markup level). With powerpoint, even with a deep knowledge you can't do things correctly. Of course, most people don't care that the results are ghastly. That's what the guy's rant was about.

He didn't say the software is flawed, but if the software doesn't recognise that most people aren't typography/layout experts, and worse, if the software itself gets most things wrong, of course it's flawed.

Anyway, more than powerpoint, my peeve is with Microsoft Word: a topic for another day.

3/02/2007 1:20 AM  
Blogger Tabula Rasa said...

i disagree that with powerpoint you can't do things correctly. you can do all the things the guy was ranting about, the way he'd have liked them done.

at a deeper level, if you have a tool that lots of people can use, it's not a fault of the tool that people use it in ways you don't like. that's like saying literacy is a bad thing because people use it to read mills and boon.

3/02/2007 4:33 PM  
Blogger GhostOfTomJoad said...

My god! And I thought this post would lead to some more jokes but, horrors, one finds a serious discussion about operating systems and power points...tch!


MT, the three Ps and three Js was brilliant :-)

3/02/2007 8:52 PM  
Blogger km said...

This comment-thread makes Baby Jesus very happy.

3/03/2007 6:34 AM  
Blogger Revealed said...

And not only a serious discussion on software but also snarky comments about M&bs. What is the world coming to!! I echo gotj's tch!

3/03/2007 8:28 AM  
Blogger Tabula Rasa said...

aha! back from the dead again :-D


hey, i was defending people's right to read m&b.

3/03/2007 10:41 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home