Nomological Net

Stray thoughts from here and there. The occasional concern for construct validity. No more logic. Fish.

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faults in the clouds of delusion

Thursday, October 11, 2007

How to fly the desi jhanda in four easy steps

1. Sunday - Pass the driving test. Take a wrong turn while cycling to the test venue, find self in the wilderness near a freeway, end up cycling over an hour up hill and down dale in 85 degree heat to get to venue. Pass test anyway, get complimented by tester on perfect parallel park, shake neck violently left and right while changing lanes just to be on the safe side.

2. Monday - Get the driving license. Change two buses to get to lair of bureaucracy, queue up, fill forms, get photographed, walk out with a piece of paper since the plastic one will take two weeks to turn up in the mail.

3. Tuesday - Get insured. Forget that cycle is out for servicing, end up walking half an hour to insurance office, display piece of paper, get other pieces of paper, walk back.

4. Wednesday - Get back to lair of bureaucracy with title deed of car to be bought. Brandish multiple pieces of paper. Walk out as proud owner of new personalized license plate. OK TATA.

Celebrate with local brew called Scotch Bastard over lunch.

16 Comments:

Anonymous blackmamba said...

best. congrats!

Please to add "Sound Horn" decal on the car dickie ;)

10/11/2007 9:27 AM  
Blogger km said...

You actually got those plates!

I bow to your awesomeness.

//"jagah milne par side diya jayega" does make a nice corollary to "Live Free or Die".

10/12/2007 12:12 AM  
Blogger ??! said...

are you serious? "ok tata"? oooh too much - and too good!

10/12/2007 3:27 AM  
Blogger Tabula Rasa said...

all:
thanks!

mamba:
heck yeah. a friend is couriering over a बुरी नज़र वाले तेरा मुह काला decal from india, along with a plastic lemon and green chili rearview mirror danglie and perhaps even a used jooti. i'd considered HORN PLS as an option but decided this was less risky :-)

km:
heh, lovely. you know, my first choice was actually KINDABLU (to correspond with the color of the car and the local football team) but i realized there was a seven character limit.

??!:
yeah, totally serious :-)
there has to be *something* to redeem the fact that one has to drive.

10/12/2007 9:14 AM  
Blogger Revealed said...

Hahaha. Wish you'd gone for Horn Pls. How awesome would that have been!

10/12/2007 12:20 PM  
Blogger J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Whom the gods wish to destroy they first make mad.

J.A.P.

10/12/2007 12:56 PM  
Blogger MockTurtle said...

This all sounds very dubious. Maybe the Feds will give you another call to make sure its on the level.

10/12/2007 11:50 PM  
Blogger MockTurtle said...

Is this the scotch bastard you celebrated with?

10/13/2007 1:10 AM  
Blogger Tabula Rasa said...

revealed:
yeah, maybe for a second car. although i've been thinking to be truly authentic it can't be a single license plate it has to be two separate stickers, one on the left saying HORUN and the other symmetrically tilted on the right saying PLESE.

jap:
बुरी नज़र वाले तेरा मुह काला

mt:
hah! love them feds. and no, my bastard was a touch smoother.

10/13/2007 3:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats! I am still actively resisting the driving license. Its the start of a slippery slope (Well, not exactly the start - the start is the dishwasher) that leads down SUVs and 16-bedroom homes with finished basements and ends unceremoniously with you giving little Avihaan or Miraya (insert suitable furniture-shop-Sanskritized/MiddleEastern-name- here) pocket money to buy Andy Warhol art that gets featured in the Wall Street Journal.

But the OK TATA license kind of neutralizes this (the brake on your slippery slope?). What mroe can we expect, Professor? You spitting paan at illustrious members of your audience? Starting every talk with "bhaanchod?". At least a paper entitled "Yahan pe pishaab karna mana hai: The role of emotions in enforcing social norms."

I'll be waiting.

n!

10/13/2007 4:00 AM  
Blogger Renovatio said...

Brilliant, who said meri desh ki dharti was limited to being actually within said desh.


Although I'd be tempted to write meri bhains ko dhaka kyu mara

10/13/2007 6:13 PM  
Blogger MockTurtle said...

Come to think of it; for the uninitiated your plate may seem like an invitation to drag. Kind of like 'Goodbye and eat my dust wusses'.

10/14/2007 6:34 AM  
Blogger Tabula Rasa said...

n!
now *that* gives me an idea on how to start my heckling. in certain sessions, naturally :-)
ps. remind me to tell you about the andy warhol cans.

renovatio:
that's a thought. also jiski bhains uski laathi

mt:
heh. yes i thought of that too :-D

10/14/2007 11:05 AM  
Anonymous scout said...

i thought km wrote: "i blow to your awesomeness"

and i was like, eh, it's just a number plate.

anyway.

10/14/2007 2:40 PM  
Blogger The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

cool plates!

10/15/2007 9:38 AM  
Blogger Tabula Rasa said...

scouty:
now that's insight.

tgfi:
thanks :-)

10/15/2007 10:22 AM  

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