You go your way and I go mine

I'm coming out the right end of a half dozen pegs of excellent Hrussian woshka so this may not have the usual pizzaz you've come to expect from my dobrovolski. Well, nyetverksy mind. C'est life. Wie komme Ich zum Bahnhof. Da?

I got into an argument over dinner yesterday evening. It was about the nature of altruism. I said I admired this cute little paper written by a researcher I consider God, in which altruism was represented as a negative weight on self-interest. My sophisticatedly combative colleague said that he disagreed with that definition of altruism as altruistic acts were performed because they fulfilled some larger self-interest. e.g., I might end up having less money as a function of having donated fifty bucks, but I feel like a bigger person, so that's not really altruistic of me to have donated.

So I said, oh, okay, what you have is a broader definition of self-interest.

He said no, what you have is a narrower definition of altruism.

I said so what's your definition of altruism?

He said -- altruistic actions involve an overall negative payoff for the agent.

The food arrived so we dropped it right there. But before that, we'd been talking about this East-European exchange student who'd sent out an email announcing a farewell party the next day (i.e., today). We went for her farewell party today. The idea of a party was in itself quite an exception -- never heard of this before. But what really blew us away was the lengths this girl had gone to. There was enough of a spread that twenty-odd people ate and about half the food was left over. More than 70% of the alcohol was left over. She had her national flag up on the wall and music from her country playing. She organized a quiz about her country, and the winners were allowed to choose their prizes. Me and the altruistic guy from the previous evening tied for first; he went first, and given a choice between a doll and a bottle of alcohol he picked up some of her excellent vodka. I went next and got this Georgian wine that she called 'premium'. (My Ukranian friend says this brand was Stalin's favorite.) There was actually so much stuff that everyone got a prize and there was still acres of stuff left over.

I've never heard of something like this before. Our parties are usually more socialist.

On our way back we wondered about the many possible reasons why she did it.

Is *this* altruism?

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Postscript - the next morning

I discovered a napkin in the back pocket of my jeans. As I pulled it out I remembered I'd scribbled on it an exchange I'd had during the party:

- So what happened to your drink, man?
-I don't know! [Concerned look] I just poured myself one -- and then I guess I drank it all down.