Naked Santa
Back Bay, Boston, bracing Saturday afternoon. Temperatures near freezing. I am wandering up and down a particular stretch of sidewalk beside a bank; the People Who Matter are inside doing Grown Up Things. A burly security guard stands absently by the door, opening it for the occasional patron. Mostly, he lifts his large black-glove-encased paw to his lips and softly blows Silent Night on the harmonica hidden within. There's a Salvation Army guy on the corner across the street, tinkling a bell with irritating insistence.
I amble past the security guard for the nth time. In the stream of pedestrians coming my way, suddenly I see a couple of women sporting broad smiles. My reflex reaction is to smile back, while thinking, "WTF are they grinning for like that?" And then he zips past from behind me. Him:
I gawk at his wobbly behind and within seconds, he is gone. I can't stop smiling too, and then I realize -- I just missed a Kodak Moment. But before I could really begin to castigate myself, he was back! And that's when I took the above photo. Following which I winked and gave him a thumbs-up as he passed me. He smiled and thumbs-upped back. I got a snap of his behind.
He crossed the street and found himself next to the Salvation Army guy (who you can also see in the above photo, also wearing a Santa hat). He stopped. And proceeded to do jumping jacks -- freehand hopping exercises, swinging his arms up and down by his side, his stuffed willy bouncing happily (willy-nilly).
Three overheard comments captured the spirit of the moment.
1. Old Lady 1: "What was that?" Old Lady 2: "That was Naked Santa, dear. Are you hyperventilating?"
2. Random black guy (also with Santa hat -- maybe it's the new black?) to burly security guard, while walking by without stopping: "If I did that they would take my FOCKEN ASS and throw it in JAIL."
3. Salvation Army guy, in megaphone pointed directly at Naked Santa (after Naked Santa had been hopping by him for at least a minute): "GET SOME CLOTHES ON, DOOOOOD!"
He hopped a while longer. Posed for a couple of photos. Then trotted off westward.
***
Recommended Reading: "The Psychology of Action: Linking Cognition and Motivation to Behavior"
I amble past the security guard for the nth time. In the stream of pedestrians coming my way, suddenly I see a couple of women sporting broad smiles. My reflex reaction is to smile back, while thinking, "WTF are they grinning for like that?" And then he zips past from behind me. Him:
I gawk at his wobbly behind and within seconds, he is gone. I can't stop smiling too, and then I realize -- I just missed a Kodak Moment. But before I could really begin to castigate myself, he was back! And that's when I took the above photo. Following which I winked and gave him a thumbs-up as he passed me. He smiled and thumbs-upped back. I got a snap of his behind.
He crossed the street and found himself next to the Salvation Army guy (who you can also see in the above photo, also wearing a Santa hat). He stopped. And proceeded to do jumping jacks -- freehand hopping exercises, swinging his arms up and down by his side, his stuffed willy bouncing happily (willy-nilly).
Three overheard comments captured the spirit of the moment.
1. Old Lady 1: "What was that?" Old Lady 2: "That was Naked Santa, dear. Are you hyperventilating?"
2. Random black guy (also with Santa hat -- maybe it's the new black?) to burly security guard, while walking by without stopping: "If I did that they would take my FOCKEN ASS and throw it in JAIL."
3. Salvation Army guy, in megaphone pointed directly at Naked Santa (after Naked Santa had been hopping by him for at least a minute): "GET SOME CLOTHES ON, DOOOOOD!"
He hopped a while longer. Posed for a couple of photos. Then trotted off westward.
***
Recommended Reading: "The Psychology of Action: Linking Cognition and Motivation to Behavior"
posted by Tabula Rasa | 12/18/2006 06:15:00 AM
12 Comments:
So you are in the general vicinity?
(Dave Chappelle to a Salvation Army worker: "So when do they send you guys over to Iraq?")
LOL...so he came back for the shot!
:-). love the recommended reading.
Heh! Ways to Spread some Christmas Spirit. This has got to come at the top of that list!!!
km:
funny! the salvation army seems to be everywhere these days.
m:
just my sex appeal.
falstaff:
yes me too - had to fit it in a post some time. (that, and trying to get the hit counter moving.)
revealed:
whatever floats your boat, buddy.
muahahahahaz.........
In London I saw tons and tons of people wearing vests and shorts and jogging at all times of the day. Even at odd times like 2pm.
But naked santa is toooo funny.
That's just Boston trying to one up the naked cowboy. Go Sox! Yankees suck!
szerelem:
vests and shorts? trust the english to be sooo BORING.
mt:
sincere flattery? don't tell me!
Welcome back to the U.S. :)
ph:
thanks! i gather you don't work for the INS :-D
@ t.r. LOL and I shudder to think :)
m:
what, no kryptonite?!
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