Matters of great social and political import

Things I want to know right now --
- HOW does Barack Obama (and every other politician) get SUCH a perfect dimple in their tie? Do they have a special tie-knotter in their retinue?
- IS Hillary Clinton really a closet-cult satanist?
- and WHY does Preity Zinta look like mashed potatoes?

Things I have learned in the last 2 hours and 48 minutes --
- If you start a hindimowie after 8 pm, don't expect your freedom before 11.
- If you start chatting during said hindipitcher, don't expect to know why Dimple Kapadia died.

Left and Right

On the one hand you have the so-called left-wingers who have boiled themselves down to a situation where either you're sexist or you're racist. (Actually, if you're truly progressive you're both.)

On the other hand you have a whopper of a bear market (get it, get it, ha ha). Or should that be Bare market. Where a company that was valued at 30 bucks a share one day goes for 2 the next. When will that happen with the Cellar Door sessions, I wonder (or the Silent Way sessions or the Blackhawk shows... or the complete Seinfeld or Fraggle Rock or Bodyline or anything else on my Amazon wishlist)? It is precisely this sort of confusion that lends credence to the low grade I got in my Valuation class all those years ago. I was never the smartest guy in the room.

Even better, someone else gets to step in and buy for some 270 million bucks a gift set that includes a few thousand admittedly and evidently useless suits (no, not the orange hooded kind - those are in high demand didn't you know), but also a midtown Manhattan building worth a billion dollars. Imagine the rent they could squeeze out of that thing. Plus a guarantee of up to 30 billion, just in case those suits have any further larvae up their lining. We're not worthy; we suck!

Or, as my beloved biology teacher Mrs. T. used to say:

"Pheesiotharruppy, bete. Laft and right!"

Analyze this

We're playing Settlers on the lawn in front of the hostel, right where the big tree used to be before the storm. A, C, TPB, and I. Suddenly, A says he saw a snake slithering through the grass right by where his foot had been. We jump up and start running. A and TPB and I run directly towards the edge of the lawn, but C goes in the other direction, along the long corridor and then round via the narrow concrete path. She rejoins us. We look back towards where we'd been playing. Tikaram has appeared from nowhere, and he's got these two big cows, ribs sticking out, and an enormous pig with him. All the animals appear to be covered or coated with newspaper. We carefully cross the lawn to go pick up our game, watching the grass closely. As we look up, we see he is feeding the pieces to the animals! I yell at him and hit one of the cows on the ribs, ineffectually. It pays me no heed. We ask him what right he has to feed our game to his animals, and how does he suppose we can retrieve it now. He says maybe some pieces are still okay, and then reaches inside the pig's cavernous mouth and draws out a slightly dented, wet, sloppy piece of the board. He shakes the goo off and offers it to me. I look inside the pigs mouth. A big dark tongue lashes from side to side. The pig bellows. I withdraw.

Subah ka sapna sach aata hai.

Black and white

- Uhmm, hey, you spent some time here in New Orleans a few years back, didn't you?
- Yeah, I was here for a semester.
- So, uh, do you think things have changed a lot?
- What you mean after Katrina?
- Well, yeah?
- Actually, after Katrina for a couple of years things were a lot better.
- [suppressed gasp] Really?
- Oh yes, all the criminals were forced to leave.
- Oh... I see.
- Yeah. The criminal districts were destroyed. They should never rebuild them. I mean, they were built right next to the water. That's where the Ninth Ward is. What were they thinking?
- I see... I hadn't known that.
- Yeah, and so they were all destroyed, and the criminals had to leave. And things were great for two years.
- And then?
- Well, now they're all coming back. The criminals. They're all back. And in our parts of town. Right where my parents-in-law stay. Full of criminals now.
- Ah. I see. Hmm.
- Well, anyway.
- Yeah, I know.